Archive for April, 2015

Dear St. Louis Blues: A Sports Fan’s Lament

Dear St. Louis Blues,

Before the 2015 Stanley Cup Playoffs began my mom made a deal with me: if you won the cup she would buy me an official Blues jersey.  For any sports fan out there, you know this is a pretty big deal because those things don’t come cheap.  Then factor in my income and you know I’m not going to be splurging on one of those bad boys anytime soon.

I knew with your history of never winning the cup this was not looking good for me.  But for some reason, where all else in my world is drenched in the stench of pessimism, I have this little a-hole in the back of my mind whispering sweet nothings of glory when it comes to sports.  I blame the St. Louis Cardinals, really.  They’ve spoiled this city and all the fans in it.  Where the Cardinals tend to succeed when it comes to making a run at the World Series, it’s starting to feel like I will never see you make your way out of the first round of the playoffs.  But man did that little voice in my head want me to have that jersey.  Maybe this year would finally be your year!

Thinking ahead in the grand realm of the “what ifs,” I started going through the lists of my favorite players that were worthy of the stretch of space ranging across the back of my shoulders.  Should I go with Sobotka, the man I think about each and every day since he was allowed to escape back overseas to play in a league that clearly respects him more than your organization seeing as you allowed him to go without a fight?  Or should I go with Schwartz, my favorite player in the current lineup?  Hm… Decisions decisions.

Wait! What am I doing!? How dare I even consider assuming that the possibility of winning it all is a real thing.  I’ve probably jinxed it all!  God… I am just as bad as those stupid announcers who like to mention the current perfect game a pitcher has going and then laughs when the next man up to bat gets a hit, followed by a walk, then another hit.  I’m looking at you, McCarver! He’s the worst… Continue reading